Archive for the 'cancer' Category

It is hard to believe that a week ago I was having prostate cancer surgery.  Time flies when you are having fun!  The surgery went well but I did have some problems with my catheter which involved an extra day in the hospital.  I came home Thursday.

Today, Dec. 10, I just got back from having my staples removed.  The pathology report indicated only a small area of cancer with the same Gleason score of 6 that I had at my biposy.  No cancer was observed in the outside area of the prostate.  My PSA level should begin dropping and remain very low if indeed the cancer has been completely removed.

I praise the Lord for these good results and am very grateful for so many who prayed.

I wrote this post on December 2, before my surgery on Dec. 3.  Didn’t post it until after the surgery. 

The words “Christmas” and “cancer” don’t seem to go together.  The word “Christmas” generates mental images of family gatherings, Christmas trees, quaint snow-covered villages and churches, Sunday School pageants, wreaths, and, of course, presents.  Cancer generates images of hospitals, doctors, bald heads, and perhaps even death.  Cancer should not even be mentioned in the same sentence as Christmas!

Yet for me, with my prostate cancer surgery tomorrow at the start of the Christmas season, my thoughts naturally connect the two.  And I wouldn’t have it any other way!

At Christmas, we should be thinking most of all about why Jesus came.  The reasons for His coming directly relate to cancer, to suffering, to all that is most difficult about our lives.  I could refer to many passages of Scripture but the passage that means the most to me now, one day before surgery, is Hebrews 2:14-18.

He came to help me and all who share in flesh and blood.  And what a help it was!  Through His death He rendered Satan ineffective, for He conquered death.  If I die from surgery or from cancer, I go to be with Him.  He came to become a merciful and faithful high priest.  He satisfied the wrath of God for my sins, so I will enter the hospital room basking in the undeserved favor and grace of God.  He came so that He would experience all the temptations involved with suffering so that He could provide the best of help to me.  What great reminders Christmas brings!

During this season we will hear of the depression that occurs during holiday seasons.  Although actually it is a myth that more suicides occur around Christmas, still many feel stress, loneliness, and despair during the holidays.  How I wish they could understand the relationship between Christmas and cancer.  How I wish they could have the joy that underlies all the Christmas celebrations-the joy I have as I anticipate surgery during the Christmas season.

 As word of my cancer has spread, many people have come up to me and expressed their loving concern.  Several have told me that they are praying for me and asked me how I was doing and how I was feeling.  This has been especially true at Stonecroft Ministries where the staff takes very seriously the ministry of prayer.  I am extremely thankful for your concern and the tremendous missionary family I have the privilege of serving.

Physically, I am feeling better than I have felt in a long time because I have lost some weight.  My prostate cancer was not diagnosed because of the presence of symptoms.  Instead, my annual blood work indicated an increasing P.S.A. level that led to a biopsy.  Actually, it is very serious if you have symptoms with prostate cancer, as symptoms are an indication that it hasn’t been detected early enough.  Men, please have your annual blood work done!

As I write this, it is exactly one month until my surgery on Dec. 3.  I am doing well emotionally and spiritually now but it is conceivable that as surgery draws near I won’t be doing as well.  I can imagine that the closer the day is, the higher my anxiety will be.  Could it be that the day of the surgery, as I pull into a parking space at the hospital, my hands will freeze fast to the steering wheel?  Will they drag me kicking and screaming into surgery with me only becoming calm when they give me the “La-La” juice?

The possibility of my becoming a basket case brings me to another way that God is strengthening me.  God has strengthened me through the knowledge that no matter how weak I become God will not forsake me.  His staying with me through any trial has nothing to do with my strength but everything to do with His strength and the completeness of what He has done for me in Christ.  Are not the fantastic (virtually unbelievable, but completely believable because they are from God) promises of Romans 8:31-39 perfectly appropriate for minor trials such as mine as well as the severest trial?

I can be weak, fearful, full of anxiety about the surgery or its outcome without ever worrying that my weakness will separate me from God.  He has promised me it will not!

Of course, it would not be good public relations for the Executive Director of Village Missions to be screaming as he enters the hospital!  Neither is it good for a Village Missionary to scream in panic when encountering a trial!  Unfortunately, many of us maintain the appearance of strength on the outside while inwardly we are screaming.  After all, we have to maintain the image of the pastor or the director who is in control!  That is nothing but hypocrisy and such false spirituality does no one any good.  Yet total weakness in the face of adversity would undercut everything we have ever preached about the sufficiency of Christ!  It would certainly undercut everything I have written in this blog thus far about my cancer.

What is the answer?  In my weakness, knowing that God has not forsaken me, I must cling to God’s strength.  It is good to come to the end of our resources and it is even necessary to come to the end of our resources so that we turn to the strength of God.  We must turn to God in the midst of our anxiety and panic.

Paul identifies and illustrates what we must do in 2 Corinthians 12:7-10.  He came to God in his weakness caused by the “thorn in the flesh.”  God kept reminding Paul of the sufficiency of His grace.  He informed Paul of a spiritual growth process in which power was “perfected in weakness.”  I think the process was a weaning away in Paul his reliance on his own strength in favor of a developing reliance on God’s strength.  He came to the place where he even relished weakness because of the opportunity for the display of God’s power in him.

I have entered the school of weakness.  It has a curriculum that can be learned in no other way.  I am strengthened in this trial by knowing of an unending love that does its greatest work of grace in the times I am the weakest.  How am I doing?  I am actually doing better by having this opportunity for the display of God’s power than I was doing before I had cancer.

May we embrace every trial we encounter as part of the rich and thoughtful design of God to display His power in our life!

David learned that his home base had been burned and all the inhabitants taken captive (1 Samuel 30:1-6).  Further, when he realized his men were questioning his leadership and discussing stoning him, Scripture says that David “strengthened himself in the Lord his God.”  It is something we should learn to do whenever we experience difficult circumstances.  Strengthening occurs when we bring the truth of Scripture to bear on the difficult circumstance we are encountering.

My prostate cancer has been an opportunity to strengthen myself in Christ.  In my last article, I mentioned the foremost reality that was strengthening me—the grace and mercy of God that far overwhelms whatever negative circumstance I might encounter.  The second reality that strengthens me in this trial is the reality that God’s purpose for me in this life is to make me more like Christ.

Some passages that reveal this are:

Rom 8:29: For whom He foreknew, He also predestined to become conformed to the image of His Son, that He might be the first-born among many brethren; Eph 4:13: until we all attain to the unity of the faith, and of the knowledge of the Son of God, to a mature man, to the measure of the stature which belongs to the fullness of Christ.  Col 1:28 And we proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, that we may present every man complete in Christ.  NASB 

God’s purpose for me is not to make me prosperous or happy.  He does not intend that I lead a trouble free existence.  He does not promise that every thing that happens to me will seem fair.  He may give me long life or He may not.  He doesn’t even promise that my particular surgery will be successful and without complications.

Instead, He promises that He is interested in making me more like His Son.  Suffering is the chisel that God expertly wields to chip away parts of my life that are not like Christ.

How does suffering make us more like Christ?  Suffering causes us to examine whether we are aligned with His great purpose in making us like Christ.  Am I rebelling at this particular turn of events?  Am I angry with God?  Do I wonder, “Why me?”  If so then I am out of alignment with the intent of all that happens in my life.

Suffering also moves us toward deeper fellowship with Christ.  Scripture tells us that suffering better qualified Jesus to come to our aid (Hebrews 2:18).  We are encouraged to draw near to Jesus in part because His suffering has qualified him to “sympathize with our weaknesses” (Hebrews 4:15).  When we are tempted to give up because of the difficulty facing us, we are to fix our eyes on Jesus and “consider Him who has endured such hostility by sinners against Himself” (Hebrews 12:2-3).  In the deepening of our fellowship with Jesus, a deepening that only suffering can bring, we grow at His feet and become more like Him.

I know that my Savior will use His chisel wisely.  He will only chip away that which detracts from His image in my life.  No stroke will be by mistake nor will any stroke be too deep.  May I embrace the necessary cuts!

I would also like to update the Mission family on the decision we have made and the process involved in coming to this decision.  Out of many different options, Carole and I have decided that I will have prostate cancer surgery.  The surgery has been scheduled for December 3.

The decision process first involved prayer for God’s wisdom, a prayer that he promises to answer in James 1:5.  Our decision also involved information gathering.  I found some good articles on the web, especially from the National Cancer Institute.  You have to be wise about information sources on the web and select reputable sources.  On the National Cancer Institute site, I found a very helpful list of questions to ask the doctor as well as a thorough discussion of the various treatment options.  We would have never thought of many of these questions, which ended up being quite beneficial in making our decision.

We then met with our doctor.  He met with us for over an hour, patiently and thoroughly answering our questions.  We asked him what his rate of complication was and how many prostate cancer surgeries he did each month.  His willingness to answer questions and take time with us were big factors in deciding both to have surgery and to have him do our surgery.

At the end of our meeting he gave us a book called, not surprisingly, The Prostate: A Guide for Men and the Women Who Love Them by Dr. Patrick C. Walsh and Janet Farrar Worthington.  Dr. Walsh has written another book, called Dr. Patrick Walsh’s Guide to Surviving Prostate Cancer, Second Edition, which is more recent.  This book was very thorough and very helpful, although not what you would call gripping reading.

We also talked to others.  Carole’s sister has a friend who is an urologist in Grand Rapids, MI and he was extremely helpful.  We talked to other individuals who have had prostate cancer.  Scripture commends the use of many counselors (Proverbs 11:14; Proverbs 15:22; Proverbs 24:6).  We just have to remember that the greatest counselor of all is Scripture itself.  The Psalmist writes, “Thy testimonies also are my delight; They are my counselors” (Psalm 119:24 NASB).

Village Missionaries have two additional resources that are invaluable.  Dr. Larry is always available and willing to discuss a medical situation with you.  Medical Rehabilitation Consultants, the company that does our pre-certification, will also help you walk through the maze of medical care.  I know of several instances where they have called Village Missionaries almost every day to make sure they are getting the proper treatment.  I talked at length with Steve at MRC.

Why do I go into such detail about what is a very private matter?  First, perhaps my experience will help someone else make greater sense of health care today.  In today’s world, we have to take charge and inform ourselves about our medical care. 

Second, with our self-funded plan, whatever we can do in prevention and in early, proper treatment will help ourselves, help the churches we serve, and ultimately help Village Missions.  Our self-funded plan is in the forefront of what Christian and non-profit organizations can do to manage health costs.  Our monthly premium is lower than most similar insurance and self-funded plans.  Our Benefit Board keeps working at ways to provide better medical care and lower costs.  Their efforts directly affect our ability to provide leadership to churches with limited financial resources.  Yet, they will not succeed without our cooperation.  I have tried to work with them in developing an excellent plan and now, hopefully, will model how to further the Benefit Plan when ill.

Next month I will continue the series on strengthening and keep folks posted on further developments.  Carole and I are very grateful for the many who have indicated that they are praying for us.